Five Deleterious Effects of Emotional Isolation and Lonliness
As a Minnesota psychologist (MA, LP), I'm currently learning a relationship therapy that is not new, but it is new to me. One of the tenets of this therapy is that we, as human beings, are designed to enjoy intimate relationships.
In a Christian context, we are designed by God to have emotionally intimate relationships with each other and with God. But what happens when we isolate due to past hurt and trauma? What happens when we are lonely, even in a crowd of people? This week's #fridayfive explores the five deleterious effects of living isolated from others. There are real, physical costs to loneliness.
When we lack deep, meaningful relationships, our bodies interpret this isolation as a state of chronic threat. Our nervous system shifts into a sustained "fight or flight" mode, triggering concrete physical and psychological changes that are brought on by the stress of being isolated and lonely.
Here are five specific stress responses triggered by isolation:
Sustained Cortisol Production: The adrenal glands constantly release stress hormones, which disrupt sleep, impair memory, and slow down your body's healing processes.
Hyper-Vigilance: The brain shifts into a high-alert state, causing you to perceive social environments as hostile and making it harder to relax.
Elevated Blood Pressure: Chronic stress tightens blood vessels and forces the heart to work harder, increasing your long-term risk of heart disease.
Suppressed Immune Function: Prolonged isolation weakens your white blood cells, making it much harder for your body to fight off viral infections.
Systemic Inflammation: The body activates a continuous inflammatory response, which can gradually damage tissues and accelerate the aging process.
Developing intimate relationships often involves deep trauma work to heal the wounds from past relationships that cause us to isolate in the first place. This work can be accomplished in months, mainly through the healing and transforming power of Jesus Christ. Christian trauma therapy addresses the three main parts of our personas:
Cognitive (beliefs, thoughts, assumptions, thinking, knowing)
Affective (desires, values, feelings, emoting)
Volitional (willing, deciding, intending, committing, acting)
One of the core beliefs I have in life is that good theology produces freedom and bad theology produces bondage. When we look at the trauma we experienced in the past, we draw conclusions and beliefs about the event(s), ourselves, others, life, and God. We have feelings as a result of our beliefs and assumptions. And the combination of our beliefs and feelings usually directs our actions and words.
So Christian therapy MUST dive into the beliefs one has deduced from their trauma and ensure that, as part of their larger therapeutic picture, they develop the right theology about God, suffering, sin, injustice, and relationships.
But Christian therapy MUST also address the problem of evil and offer a coherent answer to it. Most Christian psychologists can't answer this question of evil even remotely well because they have so little theological training that they turn to pat, cliched answers to get past these deep questions.
But in the end, knowing that God uses unjust trauma in our lives to bring himself glory and refine us into the people he desires (ala Christ in Hebrews 5:8), we can really claim that all things work together for good for those who are in Christ. No other system of thought or belief has this answer, and no other system deals with the problem of trauma and evil as well as Christianity. This assertion isn't a trite answer. It is true.
When we emotionally connect with others and develop intimacy with them, we lower our physical and mental stress. When we emotionally connect with God, we find strength, encouragement, and a life purpose that we cannot find apart from him. And we have the added benefit of glorifying him by pointing those around us to him.
Bill English, PhD, MDiv, MA, LP