Where you'll sit, what you'll bring, how long you'll stay, how you'll raise your kids. Some relatives treat the holidays as a chance to run everyone's lives. You feel yourself shrinking before you even walk in the door.
Control often looks like love
Controlling relatives often believe they're helping. Sometimes they fear losing their place in the family. That doesn't make the behavior right, but understanding it can lower your frustration.
Be kind and clear
You're an adult. You can say, "Thank you for the idea. We've decided to do it this way." You don't have to argue, justify, or win. If they push, repeat it calmly. A steady, gentle tone usually communicates more strength than a raised voice or a long explanation.
And if they insist on an explanation, you can always say, “I don’t feel the need to explain myself.”
Plan your own time too: how long you'll stay, where you'll sleep, and when you'll leave. Boundaries don't dishonor anyone. They let you honor someone without being ruled by them.
One step this week
Write down three decisions that are yours to make this holiday, and decide how you'll say them kindly.
You don't have to do this alone
Reach out for a free conversation: 763-458-3722 or onpathcounseling.com.
