The Same Fight, Over and Over: Breaking Cycles of Conflict

Most long-term couples aren't actually arguing about twenty different topics — they're having the same one or two arguments in different costumes. The specific trigger changes (money, in-laws, chores, tone of voice), but the underlying pattern repeats: one person pursues and the other withdraws, or both dig in and neither backs down, or the same unresolved hurt from years ago gets reactivated every time.